You'll Have to Pry It From My Cold. Dead Hands

  Another sub zero day in Indiana. Seriously -- this is getting ridiculous. Typically we are used to a few cold days and then a warm up, but this continuous deep freeze action is becoming annoying. If I could swing it, I would stay inside until March. Unfortunately I don't have enough storage space for the basics like toilet tissue and Dos Equis to keep me from venturing out onto the frozen tundra.

  I believe the scientists. We are rapidly approaching deep doo-doo with the climate. The crazy flooding, storms, and burning seasons of late should convince the most skeptical among us that the end is nigh -- or at least in the places that used to be above sea level or grow corn that won't anymore and places that used to have drinking water don't. Climate is climate and I doubt it gives a tinker's damn about any of us.

  But what really caught my eye was an article on Facebook, who doesn't get their news from Mark Zuckerberg et al, right? Anyway, the headline was shocking. "The Devastating Impact of Climate Change on Cocoa". What??? Climate change is threatening my chocolate??? I scanned the article and then googled. This surely had to be a fake news, right?

  Nope, there it was in black and white. None other than NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration for those like me who aren't good with acronyms) confirmed it. It seems that in the equatorial regions of the world where cocoa is grown, the weather is becoming hotter -- which in itself isn't a problem for those luscious cocoa trees; but it's also become drier and that is bad for cocoa because cocoa likes to grow in a sauna. The humidity is leaving the cocoa growing regions.

  Quickly I began another search -- this time to find out what the grand daddy of all chocolate companies, Hershey's, proposed to do about this impending catastrophe. The good news is the climate scientists are telling Hershey's what they can do, such as stock pile seeds, or experiment with different species of cocoa that will do better in dryer conditions. But what Hershey's  is actually doing is, ready for this? Drum roll please, Hershey's is doing nothing.  

   
  Maybe not nothing, Hershey's is planning on a price increase as cocoa becomes harder to grow. So Hershey's is actually planning for a shortage and in the process fleecing the public and denying us our chocolate. That folks, is a call to revolution. Who's with me?  Meet you out front at the chocolate plant next Saturday. Pitchforks are mandatory. I'll bring the feathers, you bring the tar.

  In case the revolution fails, ( How could it? This is chocolate we are talking about, not health care or the economy.) someone  suggested there is carob. Carob comes from the pods of the Carob tree grown in the middle east.  It is a part of the pea family. Really? They expect us to substitute peas for chocolate?

  "Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Some consider carob an adequate substitute for chocolate…because it can, when combined with vegetable fat and sugar, be made to approximate the color and consistency of chocolate. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt."  ~Sandra Boynton CHOCOLATE: The Consuming Passion~

  In other words we might as well eat dirt. A dirt Sundae, dirt pudding, dirt cream pie, none of these have the inspiring ring to them that chocolate does.  Not to mention the logistics of depending on the middle east for one more product, one so important as chocolate. If wars are fought over oil, you can imagine what things would look like if we have depend on Saudi Arabia for a chocolate substitute. We are talking nuclear standoff.

  I can't think of a more compelling reason to do what is necessary to combat climate change. All of a sudden the Paris accords take on critical importance. Sure, I can get over Miami and New Orleans going underwater, though I do like gumbo, but gumbo can't compare to chocolate.

  The good news is that not all chocolate companies are looking for opportunities to boost their prices. Mars and Nestles are working on the problem. Both companies have actual strategies to combat the effects of climate change on the cocoa farmers in Africa and South America. Both companies give money to initiatives to fight climate change. The way is clear, the Hershey Chocolate company is bound for the ash heap of history.  You might stock up before it's too late. I have a dump truck load of kisses scheduled for Wednesday.

  It is comforting to know that the future of chocolate is in good hands. Please excuse me, I'm not myself without my Snickers.