Toilet Paper Armageddon

    For me, it's not about toilet paper. Though it occurred to me that I am a hoarder, but not by design.  I tend to buy when things are on special -- and lo and behold I have  an ample supply of tp for this crisis so I am not participating in this rolling shit-show-- so to speak. No, this is about another hoarding situation.
 
 The above photo is my library or a part of my library -- there are bits and pieces of it lying all over the house.  A pile of books here, a Smithsonian Magazine there creating mess in all it's academic glory. Only I'm not an academic, but I do like to read -- I feel a bit incomplete if I don't have a book in progress. It's almost as if I have put my shirt on inside out. Not so noticeable now since there are no tags in anything.

   "Mom! You bought another book!" (This along with "You're not wearing that out, are you?"  Denim on denim is apparently very uncool.) These were two of the most frequent questions out of my teenager's mouths during those years, every time my pile of unreads grew bigger. It's true, I can't pass up the library sale or the Barnes and Noble special table. "Fifty cents a book," I'd utter in my defense.  The statement was met with glares of disapproval. "You have enough books --and you haven't even read the ones you  have. " And that's true. I haven't even read the ones I have because I've been busy reading the ones the library has. So many books. so little time.

  I stood in the road drooling the day they broke ground on a branch of the county library just down the road from me. Living the dream, that's what it's all about. Right? 

  "Time to clean out the books," my oldest told me a year or two ago. And I did, I donated some and turned others into a traveling library in which we send the book from family member to family member until the one who has it last has the responsibility of disposing of it. But I kept my pile of unreads because I knew that one day I would need them. As I told my kids, there would come a day when for one reason or another I might not be able to get to the library. AND THAT DAY IS HERE. GOD! I love it when I'm right. Especially when I can show up those two smarty pantses I spawned. So ha, ha Ms Leadership Training Consultant and Ms Music Tech Guru --I was right!

 Does this mean I won't stand in front of the locked Library doors pining for what lies within, the way a dog looks when you pull out the bacon and you know and he knows he's not getting a taste -- not a chance.

  And speaking of dogs, I have two who live in my back pocket when I'm at home.  Since I am at home a lot now, they are attached like velcro. 

  Here they are keeping the property safe from encroaching squirrels. These are two of the most spoiled creatures in the universe though I haven't stooped to dressing them in clothing yet. I allow them to do things I never thought I'd allow dogs to do -- sleep on the couch, eat yogurt, and lick out the ice cream boxes. The high point of the day is the daily walk.  Short stuff is very reactive when on a lead --well --- truth be told, he is an equal opportunity biter and a mini Cujo when out in public. It's a bit embarrassing when he tries to attack the garbage truck. And yes, he's been to training. He was doing fine until a free ranging German Shepherd decide to charge us. The little guy is a brave wee beastie I have to say. He channeled his inner Corgi and bit the shepherd around the feet and ankles while the Beagle went after it's head. They tag teamed it pretty well, but the little guy reverted to his aggressive ways after that. 

   Even so, when your life revolves around watching the world go by from he living room window the daily walk is a big deal. So particularly during this anxious time, I have been trying to get them out on a regular basis. It's good for them but it is also good for me. Earlier this week we took our walk and due to my natural klutzyness (I used to say I was graceful as a goat, but since that time I have been around goats and they are pretty nimble critters --which I have never been.) I tripped over my own feet and fell. I bruised my knees, scraped my hands, bashed my collarbone on the curb, but my right elbow landed in a pile of dog poop which a neighbor had thoughtfully left out to cushion my fall. So my right elbow escaped injury. So neighbor: my bright yellow coat and I thank you.


  So far I am fortunate. My company is making the adjustments for all of us to work remotely, which isn't an easy undertaking. While we have always had remote capability, we weren't set up for hundreds of us to work remotely at the same time. And as I learned from my techy daughter, technology isn't magic. It has to be built and tested. So keep that in mind if you need something and the website isn't working quite right. Yelling at a website may relieve stress but it won't make it go faster.  I know, I've tried that approach.

  I did venture out to the store today and surprise! No toilet paper or paper towels. I don't understand that -- this run on paper towels. Go green, use your old hand and dish towels. Works for me in most situations. I do keep a roll of paper towels around just in case, but I haven't spent more than ten bucks on paper towels in years.

 The store was crazy busy at eight a.m.  Normally a Saturday at that time you could toss a bowling ball down the aisles and not hit anyone.  Really people, the stores aren't shutting down. But most folks were practicing social distancing. Except for one lady that couldn't wait one hot minute to grab her vitamins off the shelf. I know I'm short but I didn't need you all up on me. Yes, the vitamins were on special but there were plenty. And it turns out, I had plenty at home too. So now I'm a multi vitamin hoarder too.

What are you  hoarding?